The Blog

Experiencing something really tough or frightening can turn someone's world upside down, especially when it comes to handling stress. Trauma can throw off how a person recognizes and deals with stress, often making it difficult for them to understand their body’s signals. This can lead to a person not reacting much at all, or going to the other extreme and reacting with overwhelming anger.

The Disconnection from One's Body

Our bodies have a natural way of coping with stress, like a secret conv...

The journey toward healing from trauma is both profound and complex, demanding a nuanced understanding of its deep impact on our emotional worlds. Bessel Van der Kolk's poignant observations shed light on a common struggle: traumatized individuals may deeply fear the intensity of their emotions due to the potential loss of control they entail. Recognizing and bravely facing this fear is a critical step on the path to recovery.

The Nature of Trauma
Trauma is an insidious presence, often invisible...

The Weight of Dismissal

In the journey of healing, a profound truth often goes unrecognized: the dismissal of our deepest wounds can be as scarring as the trauma itself. This insight, echoing through the realms of emotional and spiritual healing, reminds us that the path to recovery encompasses not only the traumatic events but also the layers of neglect endured thereafter. When our experiences are invalidated and our voices stifled, we face a dual challenge: healing from the event and the subs...

Growing up in a household where the sound of a raised voice wasn't out of the ordinary might have taught you some complex lessons about anger. Perhaps you learned to identify the subtle signs that an outburst was imminent, or maybe you became an expert at navigating the emotional minefields that littered your home. As a result, you might find yourself unusually attuned to the anger of others now that you're an adult.

But here's the thing: that hyper-awareness can sometimes leave you feeling def...

In the world of relationships, a common dance between partners is the interplay of completeness and incompleteness. This dynamic, while common, can bring forth vulnerabilities and growth opportunities. The saying, “the most agonising thing for people who do not feel complete within themselves is to be in relationships with people who feel complete,” echoes this sentiment. Let's explore this intricate dance.

Navigating Personal Incompleteness

Individuals grappling with personal incompleteness c...

I notice this about people A LOT: people do things, say things, don't say certain things, or don't do certain things, TO BE NICE. 

While I understand that there is always a time and place to say things or do things BUT to betray self to appear nice to others and to be liked is one of the most TOXIC things to do to SELF.

It is ok not to be nice. We are not obligated in any way to be nice just because:

• we fear being judged
• we want others to like us
• we want to let people think we are a certa...

The unconscious agreements we make with the world -- where we agree to say yes to everyone, even at the expense of our own happiness. 

The Yes-es we agree to are not even literal. It is not about us uttering the word, yes, it is our action, taking on more at our own expense because we think we should. 

Here's a checklist that you might find useful:

• Do you say yes to your loved ones to keep the peace?
• Do you say yes to more work in your office because you feel not good enough to stand up fo...

How often have we heard of stories or know of people in our lives who refuse to grow up emotionally?

The thing is there are few immediate clear signs of someone who is emotionally immature until you know them on a deeper level, and the signs become more obvious.

Of course, the immediate clear signs would be those who easily have emotional outbursts, or they lose their temper easily. Sometimes, people think that these are people with strong personalities when in truth they are just emotionally ...

In my last blog article, I talked about Compassion as a superpower, so what exactly do I mean?

For most people, when we mention Compassion, they immediately think of the archetypal energies of religious figures such as Mother Mary or Kuan Yin, and usually, compassion is associated with female and mother figures. This can be a problem if as a male, you find that you have not gotten in touch with your own yin energies and so you might tend to see compassion as a form of weakness. Or if you're a w...

The very first thing we must get right within our own mindsets when we are suffering is that it is not personal. I know, this sounds oxymoronic, because the experience of suffering is really so personal!

We feel so attacked by life, by people, by circumstances and everything around us. 

Why do I say not to take it personally? We suffer to acknowledge several things -- to acknowledge our humane-ness with the rest of the human race, and to develop the ultimate superpower of compassion. 

For man...