Read The Latest Article, Tap Here!


About Shamala Private Sessions Blog Workshops & Classes FREE Classes & Downloads Videos Quick Link To Book A Session Contact Free E-Book: Butterflies Can't See their wings Login

Understanding Completeness and Incompleteness in Relationships

In the world of relationships, a common dance between partners is the interplay of completeness and incompleteness. This dynamic, while common, can bring forth vulnerabilities and growth opportunities. The saying, “the most agonising thing for people who do not feel complete within themselves is to be in relationships with people who feel complete,” echoes this sentiment. Let's explore this intricate dance.

Navigating Personal Incompleteness

Individuals grappling with personal incompleteness confront deep-rooted emotional voids:

Seeking Validation: A heightened need for approval, with the partner becoming the main source of self-worth.
Heightened Sensitivity: Words or actions can easily be misinterpreted as personal criticisms.
Over-dependency: A strong inclination to rely heavily on the partner for emotional support.

Past influences play a pivotal role:

Childhood Experiences: Early validation or lack thereof moulds our self-worth.
Past Relationships: Old wounds from heartbreaks can birth trust issues in subsequent relationships.
Societal Conditioning: Falling short of societal benchmarks can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

The Weight on the Wholesome Partner

Being the partner who feels "complete" brings its own set of challenges:

Being on Guard: Constant mindfulness to avoid triggering insecurities.
Suppressed Feelings: Holding back from sharing personal joys to avoid overshadowing the partner.
Desire to Fix: A sometimes misguided belief that they can mend their partner's voids.

This balancing act requires:

Setting Boundaries: Offering support while maintaining personal space.
Seeking External Support: Support groups or counselling can provide coping mechanisms.

Building a Path to Mutual Understanding

To bridge the gap:

Mutual Respect: Valuing the individuality and emotions of both parties.
Open Dialogue: Frequent conversations about feelings and concerns prevent misunderstandings.
Personal Growth: Encourage activities like hobbies or therapy for personal fulfilment.
Shared Experiences: Discovering new activities together strengthens the bond.


Self-Care Rituals: Individual practices like meditation foster self-awareness and healing.
Affirmation: Regularly affirming each other reinforces the bond.

External avenues like counselling and support groups can also provide clarity and guidance.

The dance between wholeness and emptiness in relationships can be navigated through understanding, communication, and mutual growth. Achieving success requires effort and may pose difficulties at certain times. Couples can transform challenges into opportunities, paving the way for richer, deeper connections.


© Shamala Tan 2023

Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have via email [email protected]

Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur, and healer. She strives to transform the lives of others on spiritual, emotional, mental, and earthly levels. Shamala's clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners, and individuals seeking greater meaning and value in life. She offers personalized laser coaching to clients in both individual and group settings, both online and offline.




50% Complete

Two Step

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.