Why Avoiding Discomfort Keeps You Stuck (and How to Start Facing It)

When life feels uncomfortable, most of us have our go-to ways of avoiding discomfort. We scroll. We snack. We bury ourselves in work. We pour a drink.

It helps for a moment but not for long.

Because avoiding discomfort doesn’t make it disappear. It waits. And the longer we push it aside, the heavier it becomes.

THE REAL COST OF AVOIDING DISCOMFORT

Think of the times you numbed out after a rough day. Maybe you stayed up scrolling, kept yourself endlessly busy, or reached for food or drink just to cope.

It might have worked in the moment, but did the feeling really leave? Or did it sneak back stronger the next day?

That’s the hidden cost of avoiding discomfort:

• Emotionally: unprocessed feelings turn into anxiety, irritability, or numbness.
• Physically: stress builds until it shows up as fatigue, tension, or health dips.
• Relationally: what you avoid leaks out as snapping, shutting down, or pulling away.

Avoidance feels safe in the short term. But it never solves the problem.

WHY WE AVOID EMOTIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE 

Most of us never learned how to sit with pain. From an early age, we were taught to distract ourselves, please others, and keep going. Society still rewards it today: productivity over pause, appearance over honesty.

So when we finally slow down, it can feel unbearable. The silence feels too loud. The emotions feel too big.

It’s like staring at a shadow on the wall and assuming it’s a monster. But when you turn toward it, you often find it’s not a monster at all. It’s a message. Something inside you that wants to be seen and understood.

FACING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING

Healing doesn’t start when life gets easier. It starts the moment you stop running.

That pause, the very stillness you’ve been avoiding, is where you begin to see what’s really going on. And in that space, something shifts.

You realise your shadows aren’t enemies. They’re not proof that you’re broken. They’re guides, showing you what needs your attention so you can come back to yourself.

THE HARDEST PART

This is also the part where most people get stuck. They know they’re avoiding discomfort. They know running hasn’t worked. But when they try to stay with what they feel, it’s overwhelming.

That’s because learning how to face emotions is a skill. It’s not about willpower. It’s about knowing how to hold what comes up without drowning in it.

And that skill most of us were never shown how to develop it.

A BETTER WAY FORWARD

If this feels familiar, you don’t need to figure it out alone.

I created a free guide called Five Simple but Challenging Steps to Emotional Mastery. It’s designed to help you begin facing emotions in a way that feels safe and structured, so you can stop numbing out and start listening.

It’s not about fixing everything overnight. It’s about taking small, doable steps that help you face what you’ve been avoiding without being swallowed by it.

► Download your free guide here >>> https://www.shamalatan.info/emotional-mastery-freebie

Because discomfort was never the enemy. It was always the doorway.

© 2025 Shamala Tan