What Is Narcissistic Word Salad? Why You Always Feel Confused After Talking to Them

Have you ever left a conversation feeling more confused than when you started? You were just trying to talk things out. Maybe bring up something that hurt. Or explain how you felt. But somehow, it went off-track and now you are not even sure what the conversation was about anymore.

If that sounds familiar, you might have just experienced something called narcissistic word salad.

What Is Word Salad in Narcissistic Conversations?

Let us break this down simply.

"Word salad" is what it feels like when someone talks at you, not with you, and throws in a whole mix of confusing, unrelated points. The conversation becomes a mess. Nothing connects. You start with one issue, and suddenly you are talking about something that happened six months ago, or defending your tone, or being told you are overreacting.

It feels like a trap. And that is because it is one.

Narcissists use this technique often without realising it to throw you off. It is not about fixing the issue. It is about keeping control. And they do it by confusing you.

Signs You Are Stuck in Narcissistic Word Salad

Here are a few ways it shows up:

• The conversation goes in circles You bring up something important, and instead of staying on topic, they start twisting your words, bringing up the past, or pointing the finger back at you.
• They change the subject again and again One moment you are talking about how they hurt your feelings. Next thing you know, you are arguing about how you always bring things up at the “wrong time.”
• Condescending tone They speak to you like you are being silly or dramatic. It is subtle, but it feels like they are talking down to you not with you.
• They blame, shame, or guilt-trip you They say things like: “You are too sensitive.” “You always make everything about you.” “I guess I’m just the bad guy again.” And suddenly, the original issue disappears. Now you are defending yourself instead of being heard.
• Nothing gets resolved No matter how many times you try to explain yourself, it feels like you are hitting a wall. There is no solution, no repair just more confusion.

Why These Conversations Feel So Draining

It is not just about the words it is about how they make you feel. You start out calm. Clear. With a simple point. But by the end, you are:

• Questioning yourself
• Apologising for things you did not do
• Feeling foggy and drained
• Unsure of what the fight was even about

That emotional exhaustion is real. It is what happens when someone keeps pulling you away from your truth, over and over, in the name of “talking.”

The Real Purpose Behind Word Salad

It is a strategy. The goal is not to solve anything. It is to:

• Distract you from the actual issue
• Wear you down emotionally
• Avoid taking responsibility
• Keep the power in their hands

You are looking for resolution. They are looking to win. That is why you are tired, and they seem fine.

Common Emotional Tactics Used

Narcissists often switch roles to keep you on your toes. In one conversation, they might go from:

• The victim — “I cannot believe you are attacking me again.”
• The hero — “After everything I have done for you.”
• The expert — “You clearly do not understand how communication works.”

These shifts are confusing on purpose. They make you feel unsure of your own reality. And the more uncertain you feel, the easier it is for them to take control of the conversation and the relationship.

How to Know It Is Word Salad and Not Just a Bad Argument

Let us be clear: not every confusing conversation is abuse. But if this is happening regularly, and you are always the one walking away feeling like you are “too emotional,” “too much,” or “never getting through to them,” then it is worth paying attention.

The key difference? In word salad, logic breaks down and blame always lands on you.

If you have been stuck in these types of conversations, it is easy to start believing the problem is you. That is a sign of being emotionally manipulated.

So What Can You Do?

• Start by noticing the patterns.
• Stop trying to “win” the conversation because there is no win in word salad.
• Instead, pull your energy back. Focus on your clarity, your calm, and your emotional safety. Learn how to recognise the signs before you get pulled in again.
• And most of all trust the part of you that feels that something is off.

Ready to Reclaim Your Clarity?

I created a free guide that walks you through the first steps of emotional mastery not the fluffy kind, but the kind that helps you stay clear when someone else is trying to confuse you.

Get your free copy of ‘Five Simple but Challenging Steps to Emotional Mastery’ here:
➤ Click to download

© 2025 Shamala Tan