Calm on the Outside, Fire on the Inside: Why Some People Are Built for Extreme Moments

Author’s Note:
The events in this article aren’t the kinds most people experience. They’re rare, intense, and often unpredictable, extreme experiences that have shaped my resilience. My Human Design chart shows I’m wired to meet turbulence not to be broken by it, but to bring order to chaos and guide others through it. Some people may doubt stories like these, or even dismiss them outright. That’s fine, I’m not writing for them. I’m sharing because each experience taught me something about staying grounded in moments that could easily unravel you. My hope is that these lessons will help you face your own challenges, whatever form they take, with more steadiness and courage.

If you’ve ever wondered how to stay calm when life turns upside down, you’ll find the exact tools in my free guide, Five Simple but Challenging Steps to Emotional Mastery download it here.

SOME PEOPLE ARE TESTED ONCE. OTHERS, OVER AND OVER.  

Most people will go through life without facing a single life-or-death moment. I’ve lived through several extreme experiences different kinds, in different places often when I least expected them.

I don’t share these stories because they’re “normal.” They’re not. I share them because they shaped me and because what they taught me might help someone else hold their ground when life tilts.

THE DAY WITH THE BOY ON THE BICYCLE: Responding to a Life-Or-Death Crisis

I was walking my dog, heading out the gate, when I noticed a van parked nearby. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small boy on a bicycle moving along the pedestrian area beside it. The driver couldn’t see him.

As the boy disappeared behind the van, the vehicle began to move. My stomach dropped. In seconds, I was running.

The boy was pinned under the van, one of the tyres pressing on him. The driver, sensing something was wrong but not knowing what, kept moving. I shouted, waved, and got him to reverse just enough to free the boy.

Incidents like this are rare  and that’s the point. In the space of seconds, I had to act without hesitation, trust my instincts, and stay calm enough to give the driver clear instructions. It’s the same skill I help people build every day the kind of calm focus I teach step-by-step in Five Simple but Challenging Steps to Emotional Mastery.

THE PROTEST IN INDIA: Navigating Chaos in A Foreign Land

Another time, while travelling in India, I got caught in what started as a protest and turned chaotic fast. We were trapped in a hill station, unable to leave through the main roads.

A rickshaw driver took us down a steep, tree-covered mountainside, not a road, just rough terrain. We dragged heavy bags, heat pressing in, uncertainty at every step.

Most travellers never face a situation like this, but it taught me that courage isn’t always about charging forward. Sometimes it’s about trusting the right guide, taking the less obvious path, and focusing on one step at a time when the end isn’t visible yet.

THE ELECTRICITY THAT WOULDN'T LET GO

Then there was the time I was almost electrocuted. The current surged through my entire body, locking me in place. My arms froze. I couldn’t move. For endless seconds, I was trapped, until the circuit breaker tripped and the electricity cut off.

Few people experience their body being completely overtaken by something beyond their control. Surviving that moment taught me that when life forces you to a standstill, your next decision matters most whether you retreat into fear, or use the shock as a reason to live differently.

THE HEARTBREAK THAT TESTED MY CLARITY: Building Emotional Resilience

Not all extremes are physical. Some are deeply emotional. I once had to walk away from a relationship after discovering he had made someone else pregnant. It was not dangerous in the life-threatening sense, but it was still a crisis, one that demanded clarity, self-respect, and the courage to act decisively while my heart was breaking.

If heartbreak or betrayal has ever knocked the wind out of you, my free guide on emotional mastery will help you rebuild your steadiness from the inside out.

THE DISBELIEF FACTOR

When I share these experiences, some listen with fascination, others with doubt. A few dismiss them entirely.

That’s fine, their belief isn’t required for my truth to stand. I share these stories for those who recognise themselves in the chaos and want to learn how to navigate it with steadiness and courage.

BEYOND THE VISIBLE WORLD

Some of my most dramatic moments aren’t even from this world.

I’ve had encounters in other dimensions, journeys into the underworld, experiences so physical and vivid they can’t be dismissed as “just imagination.” If I put them all into a book, it would be thicker than most people’s life stories.

I don’t expect everyone to understand or accept that. But those who’ve touched the edge of something unexplainable will know some things you can only learn by going there yourself.

WHY THESE MOMENTS MATTER TO YOU

You may never face these exact extreme experiences, but you will have moments where fear, uncertainty, and disbelief threaten to take over.

And when that happens, you need two things:

• The ability to stay grounded, even when everything feels unstable.
• The skill to turn the aftershocks of an intense experience into lasting strength.

That’s what these moments have given me. They’ve turned raw adrenaline into quiet readiness. And it’s what I now teach others to do for themselves.

CALM OUTSIDE, FIRE INSIDE: The Inner Strength Built by Life’s Extremes

From the outside, I look grounded, normal, even ordinary. Inside, I carry a library of moments that would make most people’s pulse race.

If life keeps throwing you into the deep end, it’s not a curse. It’s training. You’re being shaped to live a bigger life even if the world doubts your stories. Let them underestimate you. The courage you’ve built is yours, and it’s real.

If life has handed you more than your share of chaos, I can help you turn it into your greatest strength. Download my free guide to Emotional Mastery. It’s where you’ll learn the same principles that have kept me steady through the unthinkable.

© 2025 Shamala Tan