You know those times when you feel bad about yourself when you put yourself down, feel shame, feel small, feel inadequate, and you’re comparing yourself with other people on social media? That’s the lower ego at work!
The lower ego wants you to be all of that so that you can never see who you really are because when you become who you really are, you will be more powerful than the lower ego.
Some of you may say, well if we don’t feel this way about ourselves, who is going to keep us in check when we become too arrogant, too boastful, too obnoxious. Obviously putting ourselves down is not the way to go about keeping ourselves in check. How is that even a good way? I’ve had people argue with me that we need these kinds of put me downs to make us humble. Well, guess what, the world will do it for us, if we are too obnoxious for our own good, the world will dish out hard lessons to us. So we don’t need to press ourselves down this way to learn lessons. What we need is an awareness of our own actions and the undercurrents behind our intentions.
The lower ego also operates in an interesting dual manner so just that it can keep us in its grasp all the time. What do I mean? Have you ever experienced this where you feel that either way you go in handling a situation or person, both ways seem wrong in your heart? An example that most of us probably can relate to is trying to be helpful towards someone and then finding yourself getting sucked in, where you become overly involved and overly helpful? And in utter frustration and resentment, because it has exhausted you, you then take the other route of being totally uncaring, and completely detached? Well, this is the lower ego at play. So you might have found yourself flip-flopping between the two sides of the lower ego: being too involved and being too detached.
So what is the healthier way to handle this? Being involved with healthy boundaries. Get involved in a way that will empower the other party and not to completely take over their problems, and at the same time, keep a healthy boundary to give them the space to deal with the situation themselves, and maybe also to make the necessary mistakes and help them when needed.
Let me give you some other examples of the two sides of the lower ego at play:
Maybe you have experienced some of these yourself and observed this in others.
Let me know your thoughts on this topic which we have discussed for the past few weeks. I hope it has been interesting for you, I will be back with more next week!
© 2019 Shamala Tan
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.
One of her success stories as an author is to being featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.
Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.