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"Avoidance Is Just Prolonged Suffering Disguised As Safety"

 Avoidance—a term that often carries a hint of judgement, suggesting a lack of courage or determination. Yet, it's a common response that transcends age, background, and experience. Why do we avoid it? Is it fear, discomfort, or perhaps the allure of a temporary haven? This guide isn't about chastising avoidance but understanding and overcoming it for a more fulfilling life.

 The Myth of Safety in Avoidance

We've all been there. A difficult conversation, a daunting task, or a fear that grips so tightly we find ourselves at a standstill. Avoidance whispers promises of safety, offering shelter from potential pain. But is it a true refuge? The reality is that avoidance often leads to extended periods of stress and worry, eroding our well-being with the persistent nagging of unresolved issues. It's a silent thief, stealing more than just peace of mind—it pilfers time and potential.

 Understanding Prolonged Suffering

The suffering caused by avoidance is a unique kind of torment. It's the "what if" echoing in the chambers of our mind, the sleepless nights spent in the company of anxiety. These are the unseen, unfelt wounds that we carry. Avoidance can seem like a balm, but it's often more akin to a band-aid on a wound that requires stitches—it hides the problem but doesn't heal it. The longer we wait, the more we suffer in anticipation, and the more daunting the avoided task becomes.

 The Power of Stepping Forward

Imagine the feeling of achievement, the rush of endorphins, and the swell of pride from doing something you thought you couldn't. That's the power of stepping forward. It's not about being fearless but about being willing to feel the fear and move with it. When we confront our fears, we don't just overcome a challenge—we redefine our boundaries, pushing the walls of our comfort zones further into the unknown.

 Growth: The Hidden Reward

In every decision to face what we've avoided, there's a hidden reward waiting to be claimed. It's the discovery of our resilience, the newfound knowledge that we are capable of facing adversity. This growth is the silver lining, the unexpected treasure that we unearth within ourselves when we choose action over avoidance. Each act of courage is a building block for a more empowered self.

Step-by-Step: Overcoming the Avoidance Habit

Breaking the cycle of avoidance starts with recognition and is followed by small, yet deliberate, steps. Set manageable goals, perhaps starting with the least intimidating task. Share these goals with someone you trust, creating a system of accountability. Celebrate the small victories—each one is a step away from the shadows of avoidance and into the light of engagement with life.

The Liberation of Overcoming Avoidance

There is a profound liberation that comes with overcoming avoidance. It's the deep breath you take when you've surfaced from underwater, the clarity of vision when the fog lifts. This transformation is not just about completing a task or having a difficult conversation; it's about the person you become on the other side of those actions. So, let's inspire each other to break free from the habit of hiding. Share your journey, support others, and remember—every challenge you face is an opportunity to gain a lifetime of strength.


© Shamala Tan 2023

Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have regarding the work that I do via email [email protected]

Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur, and healer. She strives to transform the lives of others on spiritual, emotional, mental, and earthly levels. Shamala's clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners, and individuals seeking greater meaning and value in life. She offers personalized laser coaching to clients in both individual and group settings, both online and offline.


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