Have you encountered people who are so focused on you and your faults, you feel as if they are constantly on the lookout for you to fail. It is as if they have made it their life purpose to do so. Or maybe you recognise this as a trait within yourself.
All of us have some of these critical fault-finder traits, but if we are so outer focused, we lose sight of what is truly important.
Why do we do this -- focusing on other people, watching when they will fall, or f**k up, and hoping to catch them in action. It is really a distraction from our own pains, suffering and faults. When we are focused on other people, we don't have time to feel our own stuff, own our own f**ks ups, and we blame others for making our lives, and our world so difficult.
Sometimes, people even make up these faults in their minds about other people, just to feel better about themselves.
Days before the full moon over the weekend, many people became unhinged, became agitated, and you can see the flood of negativity all over social media. They were blaming and criticising everything and everyone! Even Earth Hour in Singapore got its fair share of criticisms thrown towards the leaders, the government.
Hopefully, everyone simmers down soon. What happened? Some powerful energies along with the super full moon were making people more emotionally needy and sensitive than usual, and this is happening on a mass scale.
How were you feeling? Were you also a tad affected? It is ok you know. Sometimes these things can happen, like mass hysteria.
This full moon weekend aside, what is important for us to remember is that when we are outer focused, we miss opportunities to look into ourselves. Whatever triggers us is our stuff.
If we are not able to maintain emotional stability or mental strength in any encounter with anyone, and we feel the trigger, it is our own stuff. For eg, if someone posts something on social media which you disagree with or something in that article triggers you and goes against your own belief system, what do you do? YOU OWN IT.
You ask yourself: what is this lesson for me? Why am I triggered? Why do I resist what this post/article says? What does it say about me?
Your feelings, your thoughts, your perspective triggered by the post/article has nothing to do with the author/creator. Don't project your own stuff onto others.
What happens when you own them? You learn about yourself, you learn about your weaknesses, your strengths, your fears, you may even realise that whatever faith you thought you had really wasn't there, to begin with! Because if you had faith in your own beliefs and faith, you wouldn't have allowed what others have said to shake you and make you so defensive.
I cite this example which happened recently, someone on my social media, accused me of spreading lies (read: information that is not congruent with her beliefs) and then she said that the truth stands up for itself. My response was: If Truth can stand up for itself, why are you defending it?
This is something, we all must remember. What are we are truly being defensive about? Most of the time, it has nothing to do with what is said. We hang on to what we believe as "truth" maybe because, at one time, it saved us, maybe it empowered us, maybe it did a lot of good for us. But as we evolve, some beliefs just do not stick anymore, and it is normal for it not to stick because we are growing.
When we feel a need to defend it, we really need to question our intentions. What are we really hanging on to?
I say this to people when they get defensive about their God or their beliefs: If you truly believe in God, and believe that God is almighty and powerful, why do you feel a need to defend God. Do you think God doesn't know how to take care of these things, that you feel you need to stand up for God? If that is so, then your God is truly not as almighty as you think he/she is! So which is it? What kind of God do you actually believe in?
On the path of personal and spiritual development, it is necessary to commit to self-inquiry, and to know when we are being triggered and to own them, and always give room for ourselves to grow. Our belief systems, our ideas are all meant to be broken down, not hang on to for dear life. They break down, for us to emerge stronger and to widen our scope to have a better and clearer view of the Universe and our own consciousness. And inevitably to strengthen our Faith.
If we hang on too tightly, how is our personal God or beliefs going to get in?
©2021 Shamala Tan
Let me know how I can assist you if you have any questions [email protected]
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.
One of her success stories as an author is to being featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.
Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.