As adults, in order to be healthy in body, mind and spirit, we have only one job to do: to unlearn the negative ideas, thoughts, behaviours that society has taught us, to unlearn and peel these layers away, to reveal the authentic you.
It is almost like being the pure, innocent self again, without diapers this time. And with the capacity to take care of self, take responsibilities and to do all these with the ability to have civic mindfulness, and selfless acts of courage, love and wisdom. This is a picture of an ideal society where the world we live in has a high level of trust, care and kindness.
The unlearning process, what is it?
In some schools of thought, they use the word to de-program, some says to re-program or de-conditioning, others say thought replacement. Whatever term they use to call this process, as adults on the path of growth and personal development, we must use a method that is sustainable, that allows us to have self-awareness and that eventually, we do become the pure, innocent, kind and loving self again.
Ideally to be an upgraded version as well, where one is able to set clear boundaries, know when to say no, how not to get caught up in dramas and listen intently to the body as a guide because guess what: your spirit guide is not above you residing in your halo anymore, your spirit guide lives in your body!
Part of our unlearning process is also about the battle we fight in trust issues. We don't trust ourselves or have been taught not to trust ourselves.
How often as parents we force-feed our children thinking they need to eat when they refuse to do so. They were listening to their bodies, but we from our fear-based conditioning think that they would starve if they miss one meal, we were conditioning them NOT to listen to their bodies.
The conditioning goes further along as toddlers and children, where we teach them that boys don't play with dolls, or that train sets are only for boys. We do not give them opportunities to explore.
And the worst thing to ever tell your son is that boys do not cry. The idea that boys don't cry has created multiple generations of male toxicity. Boys who become men don't know how to process or express their emotions and they project all of these onto the feminine energies.
Or girls who are constantly waiting for someone to save them, because that was what they were conditioned through books, tv programs, and people around them.
So if you take time and think about it, how much of who you are, is really you? And how much is from all of your conditioning from birth to date.
Your one job in life is to unpack and unlearn what you have been taught, this is how you bridge the gap.
We are all too familiar with that gap: you know the gap where you sometimes feel the sense of emptiness, or you feel life is meaningless, or where you just don't know who you are, or you may even start to think the fault lies in your relationships when it is ALL YOU.
The journey of unlearning has always been known as the journey of enlightenment. It is not that you become smarter, or lighter, it is simply you peeling the layers.
It can be both scary and exhilarating. Sometimes you feel like there is nothing to hold on to as you plunge into what you think is the unknown when actually you're only plunging into the depths of who you really are.
I wish you every blessing in your journey and your ONE JOB in which you need to do: go forth and unlearn!
©2021 Shamala Tan
Let me know how I can assist you if you have any questions [email protected]
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly level.
One of her success stories as an author is to being featured alongside New York’s bestsellers Sonia Choquette, Robert Allen, Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff as well as Christine Kloser in the book Pebbles In The Pond.
Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.