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Are you so loyal to your suffering that your healing doesn't stand a chance?

Uncategorized Oct 25, 2021

Ok, so let's take a look at this: how we will do all kinds of things just to make sure we stay loyal to our suffering. 

On the conscious level, we know we need to heal and move on, no doubt about it. On the unconscious level, we do things to make sure we stay loyal to the suffering. 

Why and how?  Let's start with the why:

  • We stick to the story because it makes us feel comfortable and safe compared to what is unknown
  • We repeat things mindlessly because we feel it takes too much effort to change things, so we just automatically go back to what it was
  • We feel it is other people's fault because we didn't do anything wrong 
  • We feel the other should be made responsible for the suffering we have found ourselves in
  • We allow the suffering to take up our space: our hearts and minds because we have not found anything to replace them yet

The How:

  • Excuses. We make excuses up to stay with the current suffering and we convince ourselves that these excuses are true
  • Blame. Because we have decided that the blame lies with others: it is the weather, the other person, the situation, the government, the institution etc, it is ok for us not to do anything but wait for them to change. This is how we remain a victim of our suffering. 
  • Responsibility. This is a big thing. When we make others responsible for our suffering, we also make them responsible for our happiness. Read that again. And so we want them to give us back our happiness and what we have lost. We want them to give us the attention, and to acknowledge that they have done us wrong. And so we remain in our suffering because the acknowledgement will probably not come. 

All of these whys and hows are in the shadow of our consciousness. 

Our next step is to bring them into the light, look at them square in the face, sit with them, journal, contemplate and allow the truth of what we have been hiding in the shadow to bring us the truth and reality of what we have been doing with our suffering. 

Need help with shadow work? CLICK ON THIS LINK and book a 15 min strategy session on how we can work together to bring your shadow stuff into the light. 


©2021 Shamala Tan

Experiencing a crisis in your life right now? Book your free 15-min consult to see how we can disrupt the patterns of your trauma and/or lower self; for you to thrive emotionally, mentally, spiritually or financially (shadow & light work) Link above. 

Let me know how I can assist you if you have any questions [email protected]
Shamala Tan is an author, spiritual entrepreneur and healer. Her work focuses on transforming the lives of others on the spiritual, emotional, mental and earthly levels.

Shamala’s clients include small business owners, holistic practitioners as well as those seeking to find more significant meaning and value in life. Shamala offers laser coaching to her clients on a one-to-one basis or in a group environment, offline as well as online.


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